Dumbest Idea of 2009: Titanic 3D?

Studio executives should have a good sense for future trends, correct? They are the ones intimately involved in the business of movies, and as much as we gripe about the crap that is shoveled into theaters, the fact is that studios make a good amount of money. These executives, to some extent or another, know what they’re doing.

But it’s funny that these same studio execs – and several filmmakers – believe that 3D is the future of film. It is so clearly a fad it’s almost pointless wasting breath on it. Yes, movies are making more money than ever thanks to 3D – a nifty gimmick that allows theaters to charge $3-$4 of what I presume has to be near-pure profit. But, it’s still a gimmick. And everyone tires of gimmick.

After a trickle of 3D movies over the last year or two, the spring and beyond has delivered a deluge of 3D films to a point where, in less than a year, the thrill is fading. I must admit I went to go see My Bloody Valentine 3D for one reason only, and that’s the 3D; the movie was pretty bad, but the 3D was fun. I saw Monsters vs. Aliens 3D for one reason, the 3D. The movie was OK, but the 3D was excellent. I then went and saw Up in 3D; it was a great movie with so-so 3D. Now, it’d have to be a really captivating movie to draw me to a 3D theater… if a movie is good, it’ll be good; if it’s bad, I’d rather not spend an extra $3 to watch it.

By next year, the “benefit” of 3D will have faded; families are already getting jaded by the amount of kiddie films in 3D; older audiences are losing interest as well. Sure, it’ll provide boosts for months to come, but those boosts will fade over time. After a while, the effect will be minimal, and studios will abandon 3D altogether. It happened before with 3D, and it will happen again.

But that’s not what this article is about. This article is about rumors that Titanic will bere- released in 2010 in 3D. Kids’ movies I can understand. Horror movies I can understand. Cheesy movies I can understand. Dramas – especially Oscar-winning dramas – I do not. Sure, there are a fair amount of special effects in Titanic, but other than a few scenes, will it really be worth seeing the film in three dimensions (other than seeing Kate Winslet’s boobs in 3D)? No. If anything, 3D cheapens a film – it doesn’t enhance it – and even more so with dramas. Don’t do it, Mr. Cameron. Don’t do it.

We’re already seeing Disney-Pixar re-release its famed Toy Story and Toy Story 2 movies, but at least those are kid’s movies, the genre that most easily transfers to 3D. But beyond Titanic, according to Lightstorm Entertainment insiders, Terminator 2: Judgment Day has already been screen tested in 3D. Awesome action movie. Will it benefit from 3D? Highly unlikely.

Hopefully the 3D fad will die sooner than later so that Titanic 3D never makes it to the big screen; we’re already being inundated with unoriginal remakes – why should the market be further clouded by movies we’ve already paid to see? It’s silly, and Hollywood has got to stop.